Email #4

running gilad_email.exe

From: Someone
To: Gilad
Sent: Some-time
Subject: Something

Deer Glad,

Wat is ur favrite orage peal?

Fgjhompsky
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Hmm, I don't belive this email was meant for me. Anyone named "Glad" out there? Anyways, I'll answer your question, or try at least. My favrite orage peal would probably be, umm, how do I answer this... Umm, give me a weak, how 'bout. Anyways, always remember to not type with your fists, If you want me to, umm, attempt to aswer your emails.

Email #3

Alright folks, it's that time again...
From: heterotrophdude92@whydoipoop.com
To: Gilad@yodelers.com
Sent: Nowadona the 612, 1632, Tezomatraebolieac
Subject: what a cute rhinocerous barley sprout!


Dear Gilad,

If you had a pet, what would he look like? Would he be rabid?


Sincerely

Kem Bolier, Clergy, NY
---------------------------------

Hey? Your from Clergy, NY? Do you know my older cousin's ex- girlfriend's, sister's, cousin 47 times removed's, mailman's, roommate in college's, local celebrity pharmacist's nephew? Oh wait, he lives in Svalbard. Umm.. Oops... Ok, he dosen't live in Svalbard anymore, he moved to Clergy. His name is Bartholemew Gorbanelloya. You don't know him? Well, okay...

Anyways Ken, if I had a pet, itwould have a proboscis with tentacles, and a long neck with spears sticking out of it. He would also have a long stinger at the back. It would look like a squid, but have red and black stripes down it's right leg, which is made out of wooden scantlings. Oh man, this pet's gonna be awesome. I want one! Would it swim or walk, hmm. Well, with it's leg of scantlings, it'tl have to swim. I would get a pool for it.

So until next time, send me some good emails!

Email #2

Chokkay, dum diddly dum...
running...gilad_email.exe...


From: joliensparta76@plumbersunite.net
To: Gilad@yodelers.com
Sent: Belkron the 472, 6427
Subject: little kids



Dear Gilad,

Why do you hate little kids so much? I mean, you were little once, weren't you? Did you like having guys give you "luring candy", or bribing you into jumping off a cliff in a buisness suit? Anyway, my point is that I don't think you should hate little kids that much. It's just mean.

Sincerely,

Dolahbor, Crenshope, Native America, Greece, India
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Okay, where are you from Dorrable, Greece or India? Make up your mind already. Anyways, I have my reasons for hating little kids. Why, you ask? Because once, when I was young, I was an outcast at school. One day I was lurking in a corner, when out came this mean boy named Taylor. "Get out of our secret lair now or we'll pound you to smithereens!" Taylor yelled at me. At the time, I was focusing on nothing but meditating, so I didn't hear him until he said, "Well, boys, he asked for it!" He really did pound me to smithereens. Even 40 years later, you do not want to see my face. I mean seriously, you don't. So until next time, send me your emails and I will probably babble on about something completely unrelated.

My face (don't look!)

Email #1

running...gilad_email.exe

From: somefreak482@thecloppsed.org
To: Gilad@yodelers.com
Sent: Freakday the 517, Hogansparrt, 2497, at 5:73 PM
Subject: your funyness

Dear Gilad,

Why are you so funy? Do you have tricks about being funy? What the hell is your problem anyway? Do you have family or friends? Does the guy living next dor from you have cancer isues? Why do you sue random tramps (I'm one of them).

Sincerely,
Gehrton, OR

-------------------------------------------------

Oh, my god, why do you guys keep sending me these Otter Respiration emails. I don't care about the Otter sweat buisness! Anyways, heres the answer to your questions: Because I am, It is a skill I aquired at birth, I don't have any problems besides my rattlesnake-skin tent, I do not prefer a family, what the hell is a "dor" anyway? (he does), and finally, because they want to steal my rattlesnake-skin tent. Well, there's the answer to your questions Getlostn. So, until next time, send me your emails and I will try to make sense of your spelling...I mean answer them.

This blog is so goin' public

Yea, it is.

Email me thing

From now on, anyone who emails me (lemonlimejuice7@aim.com) will get an answer to it on this blog. This is kinda like Strong Bad emails.

Whale givin' birth to that, umm, guy

This is a video I made while I was "doing my homework". The guy in this video is soooo not Gilad. Gilad lives in Argentina. I am his husband Desperago. That's not me in the video either; that's my pet iguana wearing a cool mask I picked up at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. This freak guy (below) is Gilad's older cousin's ex- girlfriend's, sister's, cousin 47 times removed's, mailman's, roommate in college's, local celebrity pharmacist's nephew who lives, ironically, in Svalbard (which is an archipelliago owned by Norway). How's that for a coincidence, fishguy?

Anyway, he feels like he looks too weird and he locks himself up in his nightclub. He shaves every day, but it just grows back. If you want to help him, email him your suggestion at thisfreakguy@someone.com, even though he won't even look at it. He left his computer in his house when he fled to the nightclub. In fact, the nightclub is still in buisness.

This guy has the winter downs.

So fishguy, the lesson out of all of this is to never cross the street without looking both ways first.

True Story (it's true)

This is not Norwegian. I'm so suing this company!

English: This is a test. I repeat this is a test. When we were on the ship that was transporting calculators to Italy, it was only a test when we decided to blow up the engine and see if our boat would still get there in a few days. We were off the coast of Svalbard. It didn't work out very well. Not only did our boat blow up, we had to continue with the shipment on lifeboats. We had no room for the paddles, so in a few years we floated to Greenland. We all died of starvation. Next time kids, bring your canteen ice!

Norwegian: This ice finish test. IN repeat this ice finish test. When we were on in spite of the fact that shipping that was mobile calculators dates back to Italy it was only finish test when we decided dates back to blow hide in spite of the fact that engine duck see if our boat would calm get unify set on finish few days. We were off in spite of the fact that coast shame Svalbard. It didn't work procure very well. Not only did our boat blow hide we had dates back to continue conform in spite of the fact that shipment on lifeboats. We had no room for in spite of the fact that paddles so set on finish few years we floated dates back to Greenland. We all died shame starvation. Next concurrent kids bring your canteen ice!

Here is a picture.

Eiffel Tower

Today, we visited the Eiffel tower. Isn't that just great?

My new disease prevets me from speaking English!!!


So, my many (can I say strange?) friends, is our kids learning? (George W. Bush)

(this is like, half Norwegian and half English so watch out)

English:

Hello! My name be Jaques. I am encoding a secret message in this Norwegian text. The secret message is to stick your head out the window, close the window, wait 50 minutes, and if you are still alive call me back, for you have just broken all world records! Yay!

Norwegian(half 'n half):

Winter lair How do you do? My name be Jaques duck IN am encoding finish secret canteen set on this Norweigan do not type. In spite of the fact that canteen ice dates back to stick your man procure shame in spite of the fact that window , duck was not closing it on your man. Stay unify for hours. Call me if you are calm alive because you garden chequered all world juxtaposition! Yay!

So, umm, the guy up there, how be your canteen ice?

Okay, back to the Eiffel tower. Since Teddy be readin' this, why dont me sing a sea shanty?

swim to the port
beach for your goods
haul the rich man
over the side