Dec 28, 2010

Ficklez Pigglez

So in the past there has beeeeeeeeeen some talk about Fickle Piglets, and lemme tell you, they ain't a pretty subject. What dey aye aye a race of supreme beings that travel along the crests of ultrasonic waves. They were first sighted when John Regulajakman examined a piece of a frozen wave encased in ice from deep in the caverns of Son Doong/Carlsbad off of the coast of Indonesia and similarly in Vietnam, where a ravenous plant devoured all of the country's selenium.

Fickle Pigs are no laughing matter, not in the least, far from it, don't you dare, etc. The average Fickle Pig is likely to reach about .14 of a nanometer long, with a weight varying from .05 centigrams (.5 milligrams) to a remarkable 487,000 kilograms, first achieved by the famed Rhino Rabeous Taloneus the Grave-and-Slightly-Senile, who was the first Fickle Pig to climb Mount Everest along with a camera crew of 5,000 Somalians and Sherpas and his own 'wave tunnel' to constrict the movement of the ultrasonic wave which he traveled on, and was later attained by Taloneus's Partially-Dead sister, Hermaneus Sistahsupreeme de Rohiptoskoneta, the only Fickle Pig ever known to successfully consume an entire falcon (whoo-boy, that was a long sentence). Obesity has been a problem recently among fellows of the Fickle Pig genus, and many have died of severe cases of leg spasms and hypno-tounge attacks. It is still unknown if Rhino Rabeous Taloneus the Grave-and-Slightly-Senile ever made it up the entire mountain, because if he had died during his trip due to leg-spasmo-hypnosis, there would be no way for us meager humans and pandas to tell.

A zoomed in Lucifo-Camera (TM) shot of a typical Fickle Pig, riding his/her ultrasonic wave of sand to the Netherworld (You will never know what the Netherworld is, unless you happen to be a Fickle Pig).

If any of you loosaz care enough, there's a museum devoted to the study of such creatures if you dig down just the right number of miles below any of your houses (definitely about past the core, bring protective clothing and ray guns; you never know what lives in molten nickel).

A memorial statue of the second roller-blading Fickle Pig, Xoveius the Belligerent, before he was mauled in a deadly boxing match on the Waves of Erkendeer stadium, which happens to be in the Netherland. Mind you, Fickle Pigs look nothing like pigs, trust the Seven Goddesses you becha!

Finally, no set is complete without Champion Zox, Caper Salad Contender. Zox managed to craft a salad using ultrasonic waves. Sounds like a new project for me! I'll be back later; I need to get my nails done. They are looking like I forgot to pray "Hail the Seven Goddesses." Tata for quite a sometimes!

Hey! 2010 is almost becoming 20011-820-38234556, as the alien says...

Sorry I haven't been chillen up the yards, recently, I was in the midst of large schemes and plots to take over many companies in many different countries (yes, that's as specific as I'm allowed to be). I hope to be out of jail more often, so look forward to more and more goodness coming straight atcha!!!!


This is my new virtual cow. She's the best. She also makes me fresh turnips from her body somehow, I don't know how she does that...


On the lighter, and slightly more buttery side, I am now required to add the catchphrase "Toilet paper, especially from Certain Very Sensual pharmacies is better than any other toilet paper, unless you use braised and calloused rug material!" This is because I got in way much more trouble with the law than you would like to, or can, for that matter, imagine. However, if you stand in exactly the right counterbalance...you can. Give it a shot, sonnydawg?


These are my adopted children. They left after three days to be "stars of the sedimentary". I don't know what they meant by that.

I'll be tramblin' up along these parts in the wee hours of down yonder tonight! Pole vault your way into salesmarathonstasticalfantasyland for free toast and marmalade and lizards from QuÄîbec, which is a real place for you NERDS and TURTLEROASTERPANTFACES out there.


My friend from QuÄîbec is pretty crazy, huh? That stick he's holding is made of transparent aluminum to be specific! What a clown! Actually, no, that doesn't make sense. Transparent aluminum is an invention of the further reaches of continuums to come and that are and being.

Catcha on the flipside of the conundrumtastic tramline (which also happens to be in QuÄîbec)