AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAleins

Im gonna be going on a long trip to the cochez so ill need some money
anyone?

Well it didn't come out quite the way I wanted it

So, Socrates, Pretty Much I Am Going To Run The Same Paragraph Through A Bunch Of Different Translators. Comment On Your Favorite.

Paragraph: Hello! I hope this is the right translator because they came out pretty funny. Anyways, I am in an airport and this ugly lady is staring at me and then I am diving. My face does feel better after the massage, but apples don't divide up evenly? I HAVE ONLY 20 more seconds to live. Tell your friends that Pirate's Booty is the most amazing snack in the world. Willem Dafoe is the best and I wish you well in your afterlife.

Translator 1) Hello! In hope this is the right translator because they mixes out pretty Funny serves. Anyways, in am in shape airport and this ugly lady ice staring that CFS and then in am diving. My face sovereignty feel better after the massage, but Apple do n't , up evenly? In GARDEN ONLY 20 more seconds two live. Tell your friends that Pirate 's Booty ice the wine originally snack in the world. Willem Dafoe is the best and the wish you well in your afterlife.

Translator 2) Hello! IN crowd this ice in spite of the fact that right translator because they came procure pretty gafling. Anyways , IN am set on an airport duck this ugly lady ice staring that me duck then IN am diving. My face does feel bedrestilt evening in spite of the fact that a lot of but apples don't dividend hide evenly? IN GARDEN ONLY 20 make merry seconds dates back to live. Is not telling your suitor that Pirate's Booty ice in spite of the fact that most amazing snack set on in spite of the fact that world. Willem Dafoe ice in spite of the fact that best duck IN wish you well set on your afterlife.

Translator 3)Hallo! Jeg håper dette er rett oversetter fordi de kom ut morsomt. Anyways, jeg er på en flyplass og denne stygge damen er stirrer på meg og jeg dykking. Ansiktet mitt virker føler deg bedre etter massasje, men epler ikke dele opp jevnt? Jeg har bare 20 flere sekunder å leve. Fortell vennene dine at Pirate's Booty er den mest fantastiske snack i verden. Willem Dafoe er den beste og jeg ønsker deg vel i afterlife.

Personally, I like Translator 2 the best

The woes of piethrowing

Ever since the tradition of pie throwing came into action, it has been a rude and insulting past time. Most people like to use primates instead of actual pies, but many prefer to stick alongside the food groups, using either strawberries or house salads instead of pies. In fact, the English throw black pudding from their breakfasts, which is actually boiled pig blood. Overall, the act of pie throwing is very underrated. And yes, I know this one sucked.

Some random pictures that I took on my 2 day vacation

Exploring water

I love exploring the water that I drink. Just think, there could be a dinosaur in there!

Another Norway Insightment

Well it's been a while and these are always fun. Enjoy.
(Click here for a link to a picture off of MIT's Switzerland Bike Tour site)
(Click here to go to that site)
(Click here to see some random people that I don't know)

English:
Hello there young Padawan learner. My names is John and I have a Ph. D. in fingernail surgery. Also, I enjoy fishing at Waban reservoir and diving into pools full of rabid hamsters. Finally, I like to throw laser pointers into people's eyes. What do you like to do? Also, cookies are good, especially with chocolate. What, and how do you do, especially, she liked pies, but monkey is not allowed to eat that jar of but not too soon after he just don't please he's mine with extra cheese on the side please and thank you.

Norwegian:
God dag der ung Padawan lært. Meg navn er John og JEG har en Ph. D. inne fingernail kirurgi. Likeledes , JEG glede seg over fisken for Waban reservoar og guddommelig i vannpytt innholdsrik rabiat hamsters. Til slutt , JEG har lyst til kaste laser viserne i folks eyes. Hva vil du har lyst til gjøre? Likeledes , koke er fint , særlig med sjokolade. Hva , og god dag , særlig , hun likt pies , bortsett fra apekatt er ikke innrømmet å spise det glas av bortsett fra ikke også kort etter han rettferdig ikke gjør det behage he's min med ekstra osten ved siden behage og takk skal du ha Willem Dafoe FTW!!!

Path to enlightenment

Many people believe that enlightenment is 'being in heaven' so to speak. But in fact, it is a 5 by 20 by 100 km area of sky in the exosphere used for robotic pterodactyl testing. It has gotten the title of enlightenment because the pterodactyls look like angels from far away. Only a few, like me of course, know of the actual existence of this facility, which is actually marked by electric fencing which uses the essence of TicTacs and some helium to float, thus protecting the testing area. The pterodactyls used in this area are trained to fly over other planets while dropping bomb after bomb on the surface to see the result, so as you can tell, the program is heavily funded by NASA, which prides itself in blowing up evidence of extraterrestrial life before they can find it. In a tragic case, NASA's rovers, Spirit and Opportunity, crashed together and fell off a cliff into a pit of water on Mars. Unfortunately, the rovers were filled with highly explosive Francium, which when exposed to the water created quite an explosion. The water then dried up. The image of the lake was captured by one of NASA's roving pterodactyls before the rovers entered the pool. Even so, this pterodactyl burned up on reentry to the Earth's atmosphere. Or that's what they think! On that day, I was flying my hot air balloon and happened to be directly under the pterodactyl before it punctured my balloon with its sharp spiky nose and hit me on the head as we both plummeted downward. After 25 weeks of rehabilitation in a hospital, I developed the picture for myself. Also, I met the pterodactyl’s cousin, Velociraptor Bob (also robotic). And I am the only one to know of it today! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Stay tuned next week for my dancing and fire spectacular!


(I don't even get this one)

Hurricane

A hurricane destroyed my house yesterday. I just looked across the lake, and there was a hurricane right there! My house now is in four different states, and in Zimbabwe as well.



It makes me mad to know that I have been outwitted by nature. I will get you yet!

Taking Away Gilad At Work: Savor it here

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Former address:
www.thisisreallybusiness.blogspot.com

Gilad at work?

This is my work blog, so I promise you will never want to read it again.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

New Job

After being turned down many times, I had to resort to earning money off of ads on my blogs. So please, for the love of Pete, click on everything so I can afford to feed my dog.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Funny you should mention...

I don't have a job

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Dear Readers

If anyone wants to buy some lemonade, drop down to my house in Alaska for some ice cold lemonade, because I don't have a job...

Monday, July 14, 2008

New Job

I have recently gotten a new job, because I was fired from my last one!

I am now employed at Benny's Dirty Labor and Minimum Wage Factory as an assembly line worker! I am making a little more than 6 dollars an hour. Call me if you need my services as a counselor for your problems.

Monday, June 23, 2008

This is definitely my resume

Gilad Yodeler

56 Alaska Somewheres Snowroad
Somewhere in Greenland
1-800-getouttamyface
gilad@yodelers.com

Education:

Primitive Tactics Academy

• Learned how to string a bow, shoot arrows
• Whaling club for 3 years
• Firemaking 101: The woods
• Tent-making

Surgery Experience

• Gutted dead animals in wild
• Identifying organs class
• Beaver stews
  

How I could benefit your company:

• No PhD's whatsoever
• No experience
• Unsanitary conditions
• Lots of pain required
• Will eat body after surgery.

Copyright 1943 Thisisdefinitelyaresumecompany Inc.

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Two Strange World Wide Web Features

First is this one, which is definitely a virus.



Next, this one, which I don't even get...


ENJOY THESE PIECES OF THE WEB
BUT LATER, YOU WON'T HAVE INTERNET AT ALL!!! MUHAHAH
Wait, did i just say that out loud
I meant, uh, well, ok imgonnabreakintoyourhousestonitecyabye!

The Skateboarding Truth

Finally, it has arrived!
I know how many people have been waiting for this and I am sorry that it did not come earlier.

Here is the truth:
Skateboards are made of dragonfly slices properly prepared in the pits of hell. Carefully glued together, these slices provide a steady surface for the feet of the skateboarder. It comes in handy when doing tricks also.

Out of Jail:Again

After my first conviction, the Court re-thought my innocence and decided that I was guilty. I was forced into two months of community service for my crimes against innocent children. I have just returned from jail and I am very worn out. Tomorrow, I will begin my revenge. MUHAHAHAHAHA! Enable your security systems if you live with children in the general Earth area, they will be in danger.