This week, I will tell you 5 ways to avoid getting rabies.
Herewego!
Numbah 1) Leave the doors to your house wide open overnight, and spill food out all over the floor to let all types of nocturnal animals come in and feast. It is important to have as much contact as possible with these animals so as to make friends with them before they bite you and give you the disease. If they bite you, you're in for it.
Numbeh 1/2) Always open your fireplace, and if you have a chimney, knock it down. This will allow bats to swoop down into your house and eat as well. I swear, you could have the best house in the town for Halloween, especially because you would be foaming from the mouth while giving away candy!
N# 57) Have many pet cats and dogs, and let them wander at night. Who knows, they could get bitten by a coyote and bring the rabies right to your bedroom, even though it would already be there.
$4.00) Skunks are notorious for their immunity to rabies, so keep as many of them in your room at all times. Also, play loud music to frighten them, because what animal with rabies is going to approach you if you smell like you have been wearing the same clothes since the death of your Great Grandmother?
You know what it is!) If you get rabies, it's not my fault.
Have a good day!
P.S. If you see this symbol (below) painted on your sidewalk, you are probably a threat to the environment.
>8-[
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